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Virginia Bachelor Party Success
A Must Read for All Participants
Bachelor Party Oath
What goes on at a bachelor party stays at a bachelor party. Know one who attends wants pictures showing up at a bad time in the future. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party, gives details to the women about what went on, or rats out the bachelor to his fiancee is giving up all right to his balls. Guys like that should not be breeding.
Typical Bachelor Party Oath
"I (state your name) do solemnly swear that as a gentleman of the world I will respect and honor my brothers. I will not reveal the secrets of the evening. In taking this oath I understand that violating it will result in punishment that could include castration by way of a dirty, dull, knife. If asked about the happenings of the evening I shall reply:
"We ate pizza and watched porno movies. The groom got really drunk. His grandfather was there."
It is that simple. Total silence is impossible, so a boring alibi is best. Mentioning the presence of someone older usually results in the assumption that they tempered the fun.
The Following is a printable contract for those attending the party:
BACHELOR OATH OF SECRECY
In the Contract/Oath below, you must adhere to all guidelines and procedures in a strict fashion. When the document refers to the Bachelor, he will be the one who is the poor soul about to be incarcerated for the next 60 years with the same woman! The guys consisting of the Bachelor party are described as Bachelor Brethren and are the ones who should make the Bachelor's party a success by following the regulations below! Please take the following document as serious (seriously funny) as possible since it will provide hours of fun and memories.
I _____________________ solemnly swear that on the weekend of ______________, 2004 in celebration of ___________________'s Bachelor party; I will abide by the following rules and regulations:
1) I will not, in any way, take pictures with people of the opposite sex, those who look female and may have had a sex change or any animals while the Bachelor party is in progress. Failure to follow this rule will automatically make me exiled from the party.
2) I will act like I am five and promote immature behavior the whole weekend, including loud, obnoxious outbursts are welcome during the festivities with at least one type of alcohol shot purchased by the Brethren for group or bachelor consumption.
3) I will consume alcoholic beverages and promote drunkenly misconduct in the safest and most appropriate fashion. If I am a sober driver or have a note from a doctor, I am excused from drinking but must still promote animalistic behavior.
4) I will back up my fellow-Bachelor Brethren and always provide wingman-ship, even if it means hanging with an ugly fat bearded lady for a few hours!
5) A Bachelor Brethren who has too much alcohol or has poor taste and is speaking with fat, ugly chicks for more than one minute must be escorted back to the group of Bachelor Brethren for protection and to save himself from embarrassment (which would have possibly occurred the following morning).
6) I must embarrass the Bachelor at least once per hour. Embarrassment can only take the form of attracting attention toward the poor soul getting married, and includes but is not limited to, finding women to help in doing body shots with the Bachelor, making the bachelor sing to women, dressing the bachelor up in silly clothes like prison attire, hand-cuffing the Bachelor to a blow up doll and any other creative behavior!
7) In case of the emergency of a bachelor brethren needing to pray to the porcelain goddess or visit Mr. Tidy Bowl Man, it is essential that I make sure one Bachelor Brethren goes with the other Brethren In Need (BIN).
8) It is my responsibility to commute to a more exciting atmosphere when group energy is dwindling. I must interact with other bachelor brethren to form a plan in moving to a more exciting environment.
9) I will not, at any time, think of work-related matters. If work does consume my mind, I will forfeit party status and be seen as an outcast by the bachelor brethren.
10) Before signing the document below, I will say out loud, "What happens at the Bachelor party STAYS at the Bachelor party!"
(Signature of Bachelor's Brother)_________________________________ Date_________________
(Signature of Best Man) ________________________________________ Date__________________
Who to Invite
Everyone the bachelor knows. New friends, old friends, relatives, co-workers, and even future in-laws if they are cool. This is his last evening, and the bigger the party is, the better. Any male invited to the wedding should be invited to attend.
Who Not to Invite
Bad drunks, fighters, and those who in who have a history of having no respect for the sanctity of the bachelor party. In-laws that cannot be trusted to understand that the bachelor party is harmless fun should not be invited.
The Strippers
The Detroti Female Exotic dancers are there to make the night a blast for everyone. A bachelor party without them is lame no matter what else happens. For many guys (the married ones), the bachelor party is something they look forward to as a release. It is there one opportunity to see other naked women and get lap dances, so don't spoil their opportunity.
Make sure that everyone at the party understands that even though the girls are "strippers" they are still women and command the respect and dignity that we as men are god given to provide. The following are a few do's and don'ts that will ensure a fun evening with the entertainers.
Do - Bring lots of single to tip them with. The cheapest way in the world to get some boobies on your face is to put a buck in between your teeth. Throwing some singles as a way of showing your appreciation while they are doing their show can pay off big time when it is time for your lap dance.
Don't - Cameras are strictly prohibited by 99.9% of the girls while the show is taking place. The quickest way to turn fun into aggravation is by having a flash go off during the show. The bachelor doesn't want those pictures, and the girls don't want to see them turn up on the web. Many girls will allow pictures before and after the show, when they are fully clothed. Make sure to ask first, nicely, and they will usually be more than happy.
Do - Refrain from making derogatory remarks to the women, they don't like it. It takes a lot of guts to strip in front of a group of drunken guys, don't make them regret it. They know that they're dancers, but they are still women. The words, bitches, whores, prostitutes, cunts, hags, hookers, and anything else derogatory should not be used in their presence, even if it's all in good fun.
Don't - Touching the girls in certain areas is forbidden. The girls will set their rules where and where not it is acceptable to touch them. Breaking these rules can result in being slapped, punched, or the girls leaving.
All in all, the bachelor party is about having fun, and the dancers are more than happy to help you guys do it. If there is a guest not behaving properly, escort him out of the party before he wrecks it for everyone else.
The Cigar Box
Cigars the way we celebrate momentous events in the US of A. Even those who don't smoke will light up a stogie for the right occasion. Make sure to have a box of cigars on hand toast the occasion of your bachelor finally finding a girl that will have him.
If you do have cigars, make sure that you have enough for the people that "need" to have them. Bachelor, his best men, his close friends, father, brothers and brothers-in-law from his side. His father in-law and future brothers-in-law also need to be allotted cigars. If you go ahead and get the "good stuff", Cohiba, Romeo Y Juliet, etc., don't light them up unless you have enough for the people that require one.
The Adult Porn
You need to show porn at a bachelor party, it's one of the big rules. You do however need to make sure that it wont offend anyone. Underage porn, animal porn, extreme fetish porn, and other deviant porn should not be shown in front of all company. No one will complain about your classic porno movies.
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